If like me, you find yourself single in your 40’s then the focus on finances becomes an ever more present area of your life to focus on.
Today, I wanted to explore some of the feelings and emotions that we as women over 40 can experience around money, when it comes to being single.
There is no doubt that there are both positives and negatives associated with money and being single. It can open up a world of financial opportunities that you may not have considered and an independence that can feel very empowering.
I get a great sense of fulfilment having bought and fully renovated a house a couple of years ago. I can sit in any room, look around knowing it was my ideas and money that created this beautiful house.
It is however still one area that I do get anxious about at times, especially as a self-employed person. I have however learnt what my triggers are and now I’m in a better position to manage my feelings and anxieties as they arise.
Don’t get me wrong being single has its benefits and there is something empowering about being financially independent. But I still can’t deny that at times I wish that I wasn’t on my own and I had someone to offer that financial and emotional support. But in the meantime, I have to carry on, learn from these situations to grow as a person.
Here are six valuable insights I’ve gained through my financial journey over 40
- Get Clear With Where You Spend Your Money
I learnt this lesson a long time ago after coming out of a relationship with some debt and just not being able to shift it despite having a good income. I learnt that I was letting my emotions rule me and the feeling I had to the relationship. Spending money to feel better (which never works in the long term). It wasn’t until I worked with a coach that I learnt how I was emotionally driven around money.
One simple bit of advice that I learned from them – know where my money is and what I’m spending it on. So even today many years on, I still have worksheets that I use for my annual spending that allows me to see where spend my money each month. Even if I had £millions I think it’s such a habit now I would still use it.
I am going to share one with you today: – it’s a simple monthly budget worksheet. I use it nearly every day, to know exactly what money I have left to spend. I hope that you find it helpful too.
2. Improve Your Attitude Towards Money
I am a bit ashamed to say that I was a woman, who just didn’t really think too much about my financial future, well not actively anyway. I do now, but I did need to change my mindset around money, I am still a work in progress on that too!
You may not even realise that you have a negative attitude towards money or that your beliefs are limiting you, because you don’t know what your beliefs are.
I kept myself small for so long, I seemed to plateau with my business income, even despite charging more. It wasn’t the work that was limiting my earning it was ME.
Take time to have a think about what are your beliefs around money are, are they holding you back or are you flourishing with abundance? Either way, taking control of your money and how you feel about its empowering.
3. Manage Your Feelings Around Social Expectations Concerning You & Money
I have definitely felt the pressure of ‘social expectations’ across all areas of my life. At times even feeling shame around being single, which I know make no sense, But as women in general, we face so much scrutiny or judgments for so many things, which do have an impact on how you feel.
I have felt this around money too at times, not wearing nice designer things around certain friends, because they judge me for wearing or having them. Because making money is bad, It definitely is not! Or the frustration of wanting to do something, but the cost is based on 2 people, so you either pay for 2 or don’t go. That I do find bloody annoying.
I’m learning to stop allowing the judgements or perceived judgement of others to filter into my thoughts. As I age this gets easier.
4. Financially Educate Yourself
My biggest lesson to maintain some control around money and your finances is learn. This may be through books, through a coach or financial advisor. It definitely is a minefield, and I am still learning. But it’s my money, my future and I need to take control of it
5. Plan for the Future You Want & Set Realistic Goals
It can sometimes feel hard, without having a partner to share the financial load, planning for unexpected events becomes even more critical. If you can build a little buffer that can really help. Although it’s not always the case that you have spare money.
If you do though, do plan for fun and not just for the boiler breaking. Make sure that you take nice holidays if you can and do some fun things either by yourself or with friends. Singles holidays are getting a lot better these days, although I have only done a couple and I not sure I would meet my future husband on one but at least I am not eating on my own at night, which I really don’t like.
Take time to define your financial goals and create a realistic plan to achieve them. Whether it’s homeownership, travel, or retirement, having clear objectives will guide your financial decisions.
6. Start Retirement Planning ASAP
Talking of planning, and I know that I have been victim of burying my head in the sand over this. So, now I find myself at a point in my life where I’m having to think about retirement and what that could look like, if I am on my own. This is actually a big focus of mine at the moment and how best I plan for it, making sure that I live my life now and plan for the future.
I needed to get clear with what option I would have, whether I was on my own or with a partner. I love having my own money, that’s not ever going to stop. I can’t wait to share my life with someone. I am at a point on life where there is a lot more to consider than before, when I meet some new.
I am working with a Financial Planner to help with investments and pension. It took me a while to find the right one. One that I found comfortable with, could talk through my emotions and desires around money. Without feeling judged or made to feel mocked about what my finance ambitions are.
I am not saying that I am great at all of these yet. But I do hope that they are of help to you on your journey. Please subscribe for more insights from me weekly.
I think that we as women need to embrace where we are in life and that being single over 40 can be an opportunity to shape your financial future on your terms.
Embrace the positives, overcome the challenges, and stride confidently into a financially empowered future.
Wishing you a journey filled with financial freedom and success!